Hello beautiful friends...

Journal Entry #1

I have some news to share... in January 2015 I felt a new lump in my right breast... no biggee because I have lumps all the time... it was still there in April 2015 so I saw my doctor... on May 1, 2015 I had an ultrasound and they wanted to biopsy the lump and a lymph node... on May 28, 2015 I had the biopsy... on June 1, 2015 I was told that it was cancer and the lymph node was clear. So crazy. So weird. So doesn't-make-any-sense... I know...

They said it was invasive poorly differentiated ductal carcinoma. Feel free to Google to better-understand this info. Estrogen Receptor (ER) and Progesterone Receptor (PR) are negative, so there are less options for chemo drugs. Ki-67 is 91% (super-duper aggressive, they like this result to be under 10%, or under 20% at the very least). Still waiting on Her2 results. There's no blood vessel or lymph node involvement (so probably Stage I... will know after surgery). We consulted with 2 surgeons on June 3, 2015 who recommended lumpectomy w/ radiation & chemo, or single/double mastectomy with chemo (their recommendation). My chest x-ray was clear. The MRI I got on June 8, 2015 shows that the lump is contained and has not spread. We met with a genetic counselor on June 8, 2015 too (there's no history of breast cancer in my family). I'm hoping to see 2 oncologists on June 12, 2015. 7% of breast cancer is diagnosed in women under 40, of those diagnoses most are called aggressive triple-negative (ER, PR, Her2 all negative).

I'm really careful with words and have been saying, "I've been given a diagnosis of cancer" and not "I have cancer"... instead "I have curly hair, I have a kind heart, I have wonderful family & friends." I'm leaning toward choosing other treatments instead of radiation and chemo; I'm more concerned with morbidity (quality of life) than mortality (length of life) as I watched my older sister suffer for 18 months as doctors "prolonged her death" instead of prolonging her life. I met June 9, 2015 with the "man in the mountains" who God used to heal the Q Fever I was diagnosed with using prayer, nutrition, and light frequencies in 2012. I started a week-long juice cleanse/fast and daily coffee enemas on June 7, 2015 per his recommendation.

So... how can you support me. Prayer (especially for wisdom as Josh and I make these really big decisions). Encouragement. Love. I wanted to wait to reach out to all of you until I knew the results of the MRI, and we got them this morning on June 10, 2015... it was really, really good news.

I love you all...

xo - Colleen

Do's

Share your experience. It's amazing what happens when we say out loud or write out an aspect of the life we live. You may hear or see yourself say things that you might not have otherwise have known. Perhaps just how strong you are, or how wise you've been, or all of the things you have accomplished become apparent to you!

Be kind. There are enough voices out in the world and inside our own heads judging and critiquing us at any given moment. When I write, the tone in my head is kind (unless I'm ranting about something... then you'll know it).

Offer grammatical or proofreading corrections. I graduated with a BA in English (Writing), but sometimes my fingers and eyes miss something. Poor punctuation or spelling makes my skin crawl too, so just let me know.

Come back again! If you've made a comment, suggestion, or responded to someone else, remember to continue to the conversation. Maybe you mention the small town you live in out in the boonies and love the doctor you're seeing. Then someone from that same small town would love to have that referral. Help a sister/brother out!

Don'ts

I like the Comment Policy at The Mary Sue. I've quoted some of it below.

No name calling. In addition to the regular derogatory names you can call someone, this also includes "the words 'people like you' or statements which begin 'I bet you' or 'you must/probably' etc." Cursing is okay; gratuitous and crass swearing is not okay.

No trolls, devil's advocates, or jerks. If you honestly disagree with something, you can simply say it. Talk from your own experience or link to a published study. A comment won't be deleted for just disagreeing with my opinion or suggestion; it will be deleted if it's rude.

No hate speech or "Can't you take a joke?" mentality. "This includes, but is not limited to: [...] comments which denigrate women, feminism or feminists, the LGBTQ community; broad imprecations or assumptions based on race; and anything that amounts to 'ugh the gays,' 'ugh liberals,' 'ugh, fangirls,' etc."

No spamming. If you have a site, blog, business, or product that aligns with the topic, then feel free to share it. If you want to help my readers enlarge their member (*wink*wink*), then I'll tell you right now you're wasting your time. Also, keeping your comment to no more than 500 words is a great idea.

Over the years a few people have fearfully approached me in person or virtually about my spiritual beliefs and practices. If what I write or believe evokes strong feelings in you, "please look inside and get curious about whether those feelings have more to do with you and your life than they do about me and mine" (Glennon Doyle Melton at Momastery). And instead of approaching me, please take your fear, worry, and concerns to God.

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