If I Gave a TED Talk... take 1

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If I Gave a TED Talk... take 1

We all fear it. The C word. And then on June 1, 2015 when I was 35 years old the C word happened to me: aggressive breast cancer. Then it began... the chaotic, confusing, panic-filled storm of decision-making. How do we make these decisions? What’s the best way to discover the path we're meant to take? I want to share the ideas that have worked for me and what I’ve learned along the way. I feel that our society and most doctors do not give us the tools to confidently make quick, life-altering decisions when we are drowning in fear.

I courageously looked fear in the face...

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How My Body Talks to Me

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How My Body Talks to Me

When I tell people that my body talks to me and tells me things, most of the time they get a gleam in their eye that feels like they're thinking, "Oh, you're a little bit on the crazy side. Okay." But Carsten, my friend at Hufeland Klinik in Germany that I wrote about here, was very intrigued and asked me, "How do you do this?" with what felt like the implication of how he could also hear what his body says. I explained that my body does it a few different ways...

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The Song "To Beat the Devil" by Kris Kristofferson

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"To Beat the Devil"
Johnny Cash singing the Kris Kristofferson song

If you waste your time a-talkin' to
the people who don't listen,
To the things that you are sayin',
who do you think's gonna hear.
And if you should die explainin' how
the things that they complain about,
Are things they could be changin',
who do you think's gonna care?
...the truth remains that no-one wants to know...

And you still can hear me singin' to
the people who don't listen,
To the things that I am sayin',
prayin' someone's gonna hear.
And I guess I'll die explaining how
the things that they complain about,
Are things they could be changin',
hopin' someone's gonna care.
...I don't believe that no-one wants to know...

 

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?!

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Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?!

So many times during my journey after being given a diagnosis of cancer, people have judged the diagnosis as bad, the worst, and very horrible at the least. Maybe this diagnosis of cancer is ultimately bad, but we don’t know that yet. And maybe this diagnosis of cancer is ultimately good, but again, we don't know that yet. I've heard others say how grateful they were for a cancer diagnosis in their life. I want to get there too! I think what helps me most is the work I do everyday whether it's...

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Life Is Beautiful

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Life Is Beautiful

That morning, when I woke up... I felt like a veil had been lifted from my heart and everything was BEAUTIFUL. I looked at the leaves on the trees in the park across the street and it was so beautiful that it made me cry... I listened to the words of songs that I love and they were so beautiful that it made me cry... all day, throughout the entire day, my heart and my eyes just overflowed with the incredible feeling and realization that (as cheesy as it sounds)... Life Is Beautiful. For the most part, I've found life to be really hard and challenging and painful and filled with lots of suffering...

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Newly Diagnosed with Cancer? 5 Things I Wish I Had Known...

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Newly Diagnosed with Cancer? 5 Things I Wish I Had Known...

If I have 10 minutes with someone newly diagnosed with cancer and they’re interested in more than just what their M.D. can offer them, then these are the 5 things I would talk about in the midst of the frantic chaos that they are most likely experiencing...

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Home for almost 6 weeks...

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The transition home has been... hard.

This "figuring-out-how-we-do-life-now" has been a rough transition. From June 1 to October 6 was a whirlwind and we're just now coming up for air and seeing what happened around us. In addition, there's also the ever-demanding, hum-drum naggings of doing life... cleaning out the remnants of a mouse's party in our pantry, wading through medical bills, figuring out a new insurance plan as mine is discontinued, and establishing new routines... but we're getting there! ...

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We're back!

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I feel a bit like a broken record, but thank you for all of the prayers and many ways of support you all continue to give to Josh and me. (And no, it’s not “Josh and I,” in case you were wondering… I graduated with an English degree… which does come in handy, Dad! See?!) 

Here are answers to the Top Ten Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) we’ve gotten since we returned:

1. Are you happy to be home?

Yes… and no. Of course we love seeing our family and friends, but reverse culture shock and other things have made it difficult...

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Hello beautiful friends...

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I have some news to share... in January 2015 I felt a new lump in my right breast... no biggee because I have lumps all the time... it was still there in April 2015 so I saw my doctor... on May 1, 2015 I had an ultrasound and they wanted to biopsy the lump and a lymph node... on May 28, 2015 I had the biopsy... on June 1, 2015 I was told that it was cancer and the lymph node was clear. So crazy. So weird. So doesn't-make-any-sense... I know...

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